Dad’s Old Fashioned Root Beer Cream Bars
Dad’s Old Fashioned Root Beer Cream Bars found in the dollar store . . . pretty dang cool! I ate these rather religiously last summer, but when my teaching assistant brought them home recently I decided I ought to review this.
As far as pure root beer flavor, this pop falls flat. I should have known even before I tasted by simply looking at the tagline – “Vanilla flavored frozen dairy dessert with a Root Beer flavored water ice coating.” I mean really . . . you couldn’t come up with anything better than “flavored water ice coating.”
And looking at the ingredients, I’m not sure if there is really any Dad’s Root Beer in the pops at all, I think it is only licensed under the authority of the Dad’s Root Beer Company.
Ultimately, it’s really not a great tasting ice pop. The root beer flavor is artificial at best and non-existent at worst. The ice-cream mixture in the middle is a mixture of milk and artificial ingredients. Pretty artificial overall.
But – the little professors are all happy and five ice pop bars for $1 is not too shabby.
The Professor’s Grade: D
Zuberfizz Creamy Root Beer
I must say that Zuberfizz is an interesting name for a root beer. Most root beer drinkers (I assume) want an excellent brew that reminds them of yesteryear. They want a unique brew yes, but they want something that reminds them of their youth. In other words, classic! Zuberfizz does say “classic” at the top of their bottle, and the company, “Durango Soda Company” screams classic, but unfortunately that’s all ruined by the name Zuberfizz.
It is slightly more carbonated than I would wish, but it is certainly not over-carbonated. The slight over-carbonation is nice for a change though. The brew claims that it is creamy, and I guess it is creamy, but creamy root beers are a dime a dozen these days and this doesn’t blow me away, not bad at all, it’s just that it doesn’t rock my world.
This root beer tasting was a bit last minute, so unfortunately I just finished chewing a piece of minty gum. Therefore, I’ll drink another bottle at another time for my official letter grade.
Glad I tried it over again, definitely a little better. But it’s becoming harder and harder to find root beers that impress me. This is certainly a nice root beer, but it doesn’t “zuberfizz” me away.
The Professor’s Grade: B
Hippo Size Burley Birch Beer
These dang brews keep showing up in the most unlikely places . . . I sure hope it didn’t microwave itself because that would totally ruin the review.
This brew seems to be 12 oz. of pure contradiction though. This is a creamy red birch beer (and on a side note it seems like creamy red birch beers are in high demand these days). But I’m assuming that the red is just some artificial coloring being that this it’s flavored with “White Birch Extract,” but one can never be so sure. The bottle also says that this Burley Birch Beer is the “original Texas sized drink” and that is bottled under the authority of Orca Beverages in the state of Washington. And the “Hippo” in the name had apparently at one time referred to the size of the beverage, but now it seems to refer to the taste. I guess I could rename this “Regular Size White Birch With Red Food Coloring Original Texas Now Made In Washington Birch Beer.” A little more honest . . . but doesn’t have the same ring to it . . . I guess I’ll stick with Hippo Size Burley Birch Beer.
I haven’t had a Birch Beer in a real long time so I almost forget what I’m looking for in a Birch Brew. But this is a creamy brew with a nice simple birch flavor, mixed in with the perfect amount of carbonation. I’m sure there are plenty of Birch Beers that are a lot better, but for now I am really digging this contradictory Birch Beer.
The Professor’s Grade: B +
Old Town Root Beer
Sampling a new root beer that you’ve had your eye on and just couldn’t get a hold of is priceless! This was a Christmas present from all my assistant reviewers . . . and it just also happens to be the very last root beer in my fridge . . . for the moment anyway. Thankfully I’ve got some local stores with plenty of new brews to try.
This brew is very smooth, clean, fresh, crisp and well boring. With the combination of cane sugar and honey I was sure that I would like it, but the exact nature of the combination is just got wrong. And maybe it’s not even that they got it wrong as much as they needed something else. Or maybe it’s just that I’ve had too many root beers that have a similar flavor combination that it doesn’t seem like anything special.
It’s not a gross root beer, it’s certainly one that I would give to someone, but it’s probably not one that I would spend any money on in the future.
The Professor’s Grade: C +
Cicero Beverage Company Salted Caramel Root Beer
Wait a minute . . . I am back in Maine at the ocean? It’s that ocean, saltwater smell . . . ahhh it’s good to be back. Nevermind, it’s just that salty root beer smell from the Cicero Beverage Co. called Salted Caramel Root Beer. Hopefully it’s not as salty as a bouillon cube – the label says 130 mg or 5.5% of your recommended daily intake – not too bad really.
The dominant flavor in this brew is not the salt (although that adds a nice compliment), but it’s the caramel. It’s not so strong that it makes it unpleasant however. Caramel is probably not my favorite root beer flavor, but this drink uses the caramel in a way that’s not all bad. I would have no problem offering this to someone, or if someone offered it to me I would drink it with no qualms.
Using a sweetener or flavoring like maple syrup, honey, molasses or caramel for a root beer is certainly a little risky, but Cicero does a nice job combining the caramel with the salt to make a different and half-decent root beer.
The only complaint that I have is that I bought this off of a humble grocery store shelf and upon further examination Anthony received his brew in a special sack, with paper shavings all within a pirate-esque wooden box.
The Professor’s Grade: B
Bedford’s Root Beer
Bedford’s and Maxwell House were in an all-out brawl for my attention this afternoon. The root beer even went as far as hopping into the coffee carafe, and that’s when I decided to reach for the boot mug rather than the coffee cup.
On to the review . . . If it’s possible (and I’m not entirely sure it is), Bedford’s Root Beer appeared to be creamy as it descended into the infamous boot mug. And lo, as expected, this is an extremely creamy brew. This is another Orca Beverage, and I’m quite impressed . . . and not just with Bedford’s but with Orca Root Beers in general.
It’s not bursting with flavor per se, but there is a unique coating of something. To be honest, my palette wasn’t able to identify this “unique coating,” although Cosmo insists it’s molasses (I’ll defer to his judgment on this one).
The Orca web-site says, “Bedford’s sodas have been a Pacific Northwest tradition for over 30 years. Handcrafted and known for outstanding flavor, Bedford’s is now available . . . blah, blah, blah. “ The cool (and redundant) thing about almost all root beers is that it is some kind of special tradition.
Bedford’s is one tradition that’s worth continuing . . .
The Professor’s Grade: B +
Red Arrow Root Beer
Uh oh . . . I admit, I’m going through root beer blogging writers block. Admittedly, I’ve still been sampling the brews, I’ve simply not been telling. But I’m willing to face the pain, the uncomfortability and the sense of general unsatisfaction with this brew . . . actually Red Arrow was quite satisfying . . . but point made.
As I tipped the old boot mug back, I couldn’t help notice the classic root beer flavor. In fact everything is classic about this soda, from the licorice to the wintergreen, to the root beer lettering and to the red arrow which is actually white – go figure.
And as you probably figured out long ago, I prefer brews that are lightly to moderately carbonated. When a beverage is overcarbonated I begin to wonder what grotesque flavors are being hidden. This soda is perfectly carbonated, not to much and not to little.
I do get a little bit of a kick out of lines like, “Folklore says the brand was a tribute to the Red Arrow Brigade.” I would go out on a limb to say that a better tribute would be to make the arrow on the side of the bottle red rather than white – but again that’s just me and my crazy opinion.
Despite the white arrow, I am pretty happy with this root beer. There is not really that new with this brew, but a good solid classic nonetheless.
The Professor’s Grade: A –
Root Beer Made With Beet Sugar?
That’s right, Rocky Mountain Root Beer is made with Beet Sugar, and who knows . . . maybe others as well. Well, what is beet sugar and how is it made? How better to understand how it’s made then to watch a clip from How It’s Made!
Beet Sugar
Simply put, beet sugar is a kind of sugar made from the common beet. That’s pretty cool considering that as a kid I always thought that beets were a touch disgusting . . . the disgusting part is not that far fetched being that it’s proper name is beta vulgaris. Anyway, would you believe that 30% of the world’s sugar comes from beets? I guess it’s quite a bit more common than one would have imagined. Here is a little quip from the WiseGeek web-site on beet sugar:
Beet sugar is a form of sugar which is extracted from a cultivar of Beta vulgaris, the common beet. Around 30% of the world’s total sugar supply comes from beets. Most markets carry beet sugar, although it may not always be explicitly labeled, and if you have white sugar in your cupboards, there is a good chance that it has been made from beets. Because beet sugar performs slightly differently than cane sugar, it can important to check sugar packaging to determine its source, especially when baking.
Humans have cultivated beets for thousands of years, and they may be among the oldest of European and Middle Eastern root vegetables. However, their potential as a source of sucrose was not realized until around the 1500s, and it took several hundred more years for a reliably sugar-high varietal of beet to be developed. In the early 1800s, beet sugar processing plants began opening in Europe, and they slowly spread to the United States.
Rocky Mountain Root Beer
The longer I review root beers, the more I find that I look forward to it less – I think that makes sense?? I mean, often you get root beers like Big K, or Hannaford Brand just because the brews are cheap, available and haven’t been reviewed yet.
But I was really looking forward to trying Rocky Mountain Root Beer. I mean everything about this root beer shouts quality. The bottle is quality with an awesome picture of a sheep on steroids . . . or is that a ram? Anyway, it doesn’t really matter, because a bottle with a manly looking animal on the front is awesome.
Some of the little quips on this bottle say, “batch brewed,” “all-natural,” “made with beet sugar”, and “handcrafted.” And all of these quips are completely true! Wait . . . made with beet sugar? That’s right, not high-fructose corn syrup, not honey, not molasses and not even pure cane sugar. This baby is made with BEET SUGAR!! How cool is that! In fact, if your interested my next post will be for the purpose of explaining a little more about beet sugar.
Everything about this root beer screams quality. And in fact, it is a high-quality root beer, but sadly it’s not the kind of quality root beer that delights my taste buds. The beet sugar is distinctive, and although there is not an over abundance of sugar in this brew it tastes way too sweet for my liking. There is also a strong licorice or anise taste and I’m not sure if its that actual spice or if it’s a flavor of the beet sugar. Much too strong for my liking.
The Professor’s Grade: C –
Big K Root Beer
Let me begin with a quote from the side of the bottle. It says,
We Promise your whole family will enjoy the refreshing flavor of Big K. If you are not delighted, let us know. We will make it right with a replacement or refund. (I took a picture of little professor #1 laughing after I read this)
No, I am not making this up. On the side of an uninspiring, store-brand, .89 cent root beer, it says “if you are not delighted, let us know.” The problem for me is two-fold. First of all, I am not delighted, but my kids are. In fact, I think that if you add sugar and carbonate toilet water they would still be delighted. Secondly, I have to ask myself if it’s really worth it to create a stink over an .89 cent root beer.
The bottom-line for this root beer review is that the name, label and root beer are all at the bottom of the barrel. In fact, I normally don’t get all upset at a bad label (because it’s the taste that really counts), but this label is so bad that it’s embarrassing for the whole Kroger Supermarket Chain.
Unfortunately, this brew will have to be added to the curriculum for “The Greatest Root Beer Failures of All-Time.”
The Professor’s Grade: F –
